I am scared. I am scared that you will wake up one day and really see me for who I am and you will realize how you do not want to be part of me.

I am scared that you will smarten up one day and realize how dumb you've been to marry me.

I am scared that you will hate me. I am scared that you will regret ever meeting me. I am scared that I will ruin you, bring you down and hurt you completely to a point of changing the real you-and I don't want you to change at all.

I am scared that because I am this person, that my effect on you will be so bad that it will become irreversible.

I am scared that you will realize someday how I've ruined Claire.

I am scared that you will agree someday with me how bad a mother I am.

I am scared that one day you will not find me interesting anymore or sexy or beautiful.

I am scared that one day you will wake up and not want me anymore.

I am scared that one day you will wake up and just have anger left in you FOR me.

I am scared that one day I will come to realize that I have emotionally abused you because I am so screwed up and can't control my emotions and that you have to work hard in being patient and understanding.

I am scared that one day you either won't come home or that one day I will wake up and never see you again.

I am scared that one day I will wake up and I have lost you.